New Ways to Go Christmas Caroling

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This post is a part of CHRISTMAS FOREVER. There are live shows, free content, and several bloggers contributing posts to spread Christmas cheer. You can find all of that here. A big Christmas tradition that everyone knows about but no one actually does in real life is going door to door and singing Christmas carols.

What Is Caroling?

Apparently no one knows the origin of Christmas caroling. It just happened one day? Some believe it began in feudal societies, since back then the poor would some times have to “sing for their supper.” Some cultures still have this. Children will “sing for their supper” while the elderly will “disco for their dinner” and “breakdance for brunch.”

Why Is Caroling?

First question: do you eve know what your neighbors look like? I’ve lived in a new neighborhood for the last 3 months and I’m pretty sure I’ve never see anyone leave the houses around me. They could all be giant squid monsters for all I know! Or it could be Brad Pitt (but probably not). They might be the coolest people I’ve ever met but there’s never a chance for us to meet. In our culture today we only communicate through screens.

But caroling is the perfect chance to get out there!

Go outside! Sing at another human’s face. Do something new and different! Put on suspenders and learn how to dance! Knock on some doors and greet a stranger. Rub some peanut butter on a horse’s gums and make it look like it’s talking. People love that!

How is Caroling?

Caroling doesn’t have to be boring or old fashioned. I’ve got some exciting and inventive new ways to approach it. CHECK IT OUT! I’m a really cool guy (no I’m not) so trust me when I say these are awesome ideas!

Approach One

Go out at 2 am. Break into your neighbor’s house and quietly make them breakfast. Don’t let them know you’re in there!

Stand over their bed and start screaming the lyrics to Jingle Bells. They’ll be startled awake and maybe a little (just a little) angry or confused. That’s when you show that you made breakfast in bed. Everyone will laugh and have a good time as you all eat breakfast. No one will forget such a memorable Christmas experience. I know I wish someone would break into my house, make breakfast, and wake me up with a Christmas song!

Optional: before you wake them up, snoop through all their belongings and try on all their clothes. Look for all their secrets and tell no one what you find.

Now, they might be furious and the breakfast MAY not calm them down. In that case, just release the bees and run. Oh, I forgot to mention you’re going to need some weaponized bees for this.

Approach Two

“We Wish You a Merry Christmas” has that weird section of demanding figgy pudding. I guess that was part of the fun of caroling? People felt obligated to feed you gross pudding because you’re signing about it? But let’s flip the tradition on its head!

Go to a house, sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” but now tell the homeowner you’re not leaving until THEY eat a gallon of your figgy pudding. If they refuse, release the bees.

Approach Three

This time invite carolers to come sing at your house. When they arrive, let them inside where have your house boobytrapped with all of the traps from Home Alone. If the carolers make it through the whole thing they don’t have to eat a gallon of figgy pudding.

Testimonials

I think these are some great ideas to make the holiday season a little more magical. BUT I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE! I’ll leave you with some testimonials from totally not fake people from around the world. Let me hear what you think of these caroling ideas in the comments.

“I thought this Christmas was going to be as boring as all the others. That’s until I was attacked by those weaponized bees! How will I ever top this for next year?!” Brad Mundle from Kansas City, Japan

“I never thought I would be able to survive all the traps from Home Alone, and I was right! The moment I stepped into Taylor’s house I broke every bone in my body. Wow! At least now I know!” Sam Spitz from  Misslebutt, Colorado

“It was worth eating all that figgy pudding to finally get to meet my neighbors! I have friends in real life and not just on my phone and social media! What a neat night!” Abraham Lincoln from Washington D.C.


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