joke

8 Tips for How to be Poor

scroogemcduck.jpg

My full time job is traveling as a speaker and comedian, so obviously I’ve had a lot of experience being incredibly poor. Some seasons are super busy and lucrative while other seasons are slow and terrifying. There’s harvest and famine. You get used to both, but harvest is a lot more fun.

I’ve learned a lot about how to succeed at being poor. Here are some tips for when money is tight.


Stop driving. Save money on gas. You can walk more places than you think.

Look inside your heart and make important ethical decisions before moving forward as a poor person. Does stealing toilet paper count as real stealing?

Get a library card. No more buying books or renting movies.

Don’t do any research about incremental fasting. Just use that concept as an excuse for only eating one meal a day.

Only eat at restaurants that have rewards programs that can lead to free meals. Chik-fila is your new best friend.

You won’t spend money while you’re asleep. Take naps to pass the time.

Stop buying stuff. Please. Please stop. Just because socks have holes in them doesn’t mean they need to be replaced.

Always look on the bright side. Some research is now showing that being poor can actually make you more creative.

 

“Research on creativity and constraint demonstrates that, when options are limited, people generate more, rather than less, varied solutions—apparently because their attention is less scattered.

 

Also, I should probably mention that there’s no shame in living in your van. I did it for 2 and a half years. It’s cool. Not that bad. Get a gym membership so you can shower.