What are you really yearning for?

In her book, I Might Regret This, Abbi Jacobson describes the long road trip she took alone to hopefully find healing after a bad break up. While staying in a cabin in Utah she goes outside in the middle of the night to really take in how beautiful the sky is.


The stars out there, out west, are different, they’re brighter and bolder, and they make you feel that the world is so much more than you ever could have thought, that maybe you’d only been focusing on a tiny little corner. I know all those starts are there too, in my New York sky, but I don’t see them. There’s too much in the way. This was the space I was longing for and had been seeking out. But I could see now I hadn’t been yearning for that expanse to escape into, but rather to remember that I was a part of it.


I’ve been trying to figure out what it is about that last line that is so beautiful to me.

Two scriptures come to mind.

We all try to escape into the expanse, to get lost in it.

Psalm 139:7-8 says


Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.


There’s no way to escape. But that’s not really what we’re after. What we’re REALLY yearning for when we stare at the beauty around us is the comfort of knowing we belong.

Psalm 8:3-4 says


“When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?”


He knows me. He cares for me. He doesn’t want me to hide from Him.

The God who made it all wants to me in His family. How crazy is that?

Now I want to go out into nature and see what it makes me feel.

Reading Lord of the Rings outside


The Lord of the Rings was meant to be read out in nature. I don’t know if J.R.R. Tolkien intended for that to be the case, but there’s something about the story, the world of Middle Earth, and the way Tolkien describes it that makes me want to be outside.

This picture would be a lot cooler if I was reading a physical copy of The Fellowship of the Ring instead of having it on my kindle. You can’t event ell that’s what’s in my hand. This picture just looks like “hey everybody, decided to take my black rectangle to the lake today!”

My original GoodReads Reading Challenge goal for the year was 45 books. I’m at 22. Apparently I’m 17 books behind schedule. So now my NEW goal is to finish the Lord of the Rings trilogy before January 1st. So far so good.

I don’t know if I should be embarrassed that it took a bunch of made up hobbits for me to realize nature can be cool.